Winslow Junker

Dear Winslow:

Trolls and bogey-men come into my room at night. They sit on me and fart a lot. In the morning I wake up covered with strange burns and feeling not very rested.

What can I do?

P.T. Dardy
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Dear Mr. Dardy:

I strongly recommend you get a life. Pronto.

Yours,
Winslow